By Lisa Frederick (02/08/08)
Throughout our lives, we each make friends, and we lose them. A lot of times, we have no idea why that friendship was lost. We need to look inside ourselves and find it… find something about ourselves and make relationships last a long time.
In today’s world, there isn’t really any more give and take. I watch, and all I see is people taking. People aren’t really “nice†anymore. They tend to be rude, critical, and complaining. Most of us don’t see that, as we are that way as well. We have accepted so much of this into our culture that it doesn’t appear to be a bad thing anymore. We also have honed these traits so that they are much more subtle, and most people don’t notice.
The first step to finding the better person in each of us that lends to better relationships is to quit doing all of that. We all complain. Sometimes we are overly critical and it comes across as rude. Sometimes we forget to say, “Thank you,†and this is rude, as well. Can we stop complaining?
My daughter came home from middle school the other day with an “Honor Bracelet†on her wrist. My first thought was, “That’s very noticeable… uh, and does it go with your outfit?†I did all of the horrible things I said I wouldn’t do! I was rude, and I was critical, and in my own way… I was complaining. I should have asked her about the bracelet. I would have learned a lot.
As it turns out, the bracelet is part of an honor system some of the kids are having. They have to wear it for 21 days and make a vow not to complain. (Isn’t this what I was just talking about?!!) If the child complains, they have to move it to the other wrist. If they notice themselves having to exchange wrists, they seem to stop complaining so much. Imagine! This younger generation is trying to better themselves and focus on skills to maintain better friendships, as well. And… no one (in the adult world) told them to do it.
I should have asked her about the bracelet. Then, I would most certainly (hopefully) complimented her on her choice and not been so critical. But, as with most people, I fell into the typical rude and materialistic trap that we all share.
I know, like most of you, how nice it is to receive a compliment. It sure feels good. It also, it turns out, feels nice to give them. The end result is much less critical, emphasizing someone’s good points, and boosts the confidence level to do better. It also makes one much better liked, as people don’t feel the need to be so defensive about anything they do.
Try it. Don’t complain. Don’t criticize. Compliment. Focus on the good qualities of something instead of the bad. It might take awhile and be difficult. After all, you are changing. Changing isn’t so bad, if it’s for the right reasons. It’s just a little “giving†in this whole wide world of “taking.†You will feel a little better, and make people like you a little better in the end. And think! If it feels this good, this is just one baby step towards our Journey to Better Friendships.
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This post comes to us from a good friend of mine. As we are just beginning our Journey as Friends, I have a great deal of Respect for Lisa. As a mother, she shows her willingness and dedication to her family and to strengthening her family bonds. What a terrific example of a Mother. Oh, and although she may not exactly be a Molly….she is in her own Right…Molly Mormon at heart! You can see more of what Lisa writes and what she Cooks (yikes, my downfall) on her blog: http://lisaslittlerascals.blogspot.com/
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